The desire to contact our exes can be unbearable at times. You start rationalizing different reasons why you should reach out and how great it would be if you two had a conversation again. Now in the digital age, making this mistake occurs on a regular basis, but here are 5 clear reasons you should open your heart to new possibilities, and not the “compose message” screen.

1) The phone speaks when the man does not.
Above all else, let this be your reason to put down that phone. This single sentence gives you the answers to the lingering question “does he want to talk to me?” If he really did, he would have by now.

2) Your ex cannot miss you if you are constantly making yourself available to him.
You want your ex to miss you, yet you are constantly making yourself readily available to him by checking in with him through texting, phone calls, and other forms of social media. This may seem innocent and friendly, but in reality it is setting yourself up for disappointment because it is human nature to miss and desire what we don’t have…not what is directly in front of us.

3) You will have no other way of knowing if he would ever miss you enough to make the first move himself.
I’m not sure about you, but I for one am a huge advocate of being chased. I love men who are confident enough to make the first move. In fact, when I get married one day I hope it is to someone who took the time to pursue me and make his interest known. This is not the outcome if you are the one constantly texting your ex. You will never know if he is ever brave enough or invested enough to contact you directly until you stop pursuing and investing interest in him by reaching out first.

4) You are missing out on new possibilities by focusing on old interests.
If you are feeling compelled to text your ex, it is because you have been thinking about your ex. Of course it is human nature to think about our exes from time to time, but it is important to be honest with ourselves when the “innocent random thoughts” linger towards obsessive thoughts. You will not see the cute guy across the coffee shop smiling at you if you are looking at the phone screen.

5) The man who is your husband would not ignore you.
All in all, the man who you want to become your husband would not be ignoring you right now. Or ever, in fact. Let the ex go, and let the phone stay off for the day. It is time to start having faith that there is a bigger plan for you and that there is a greater happiness than the one that follows receiving a text-message from an old boyfriend. So think before you send that text, and have faith that you do not need to send it at all.

P.S. Shout out to my lovely friend, Danielle, for giving me insight for the last point. Much love.

P.S.S. This post is for you, and you know who you are. I am always there for you.